who i am

In October I left my job as a nanny for a chance to “find myself.”  Maybe that doesn’t sound right, maybe it seems like a silly notion.  I mean, by 30, haven’t most people at least figured out what they like and dislike?  I’ve found that we are diverse creatures, always changing.  I know I’m not alone in my search for myself.

Up until now, I’ve never spent a lot of time on me.  I happen to be one of those selfless creatures, although I definitely can be selfish at times.  I’d rather help my husband than have to really think about what I like.  I’d rather take someone’s word for something than have to figure it out for myself.  I’m sure it’s part of who I am, the exact nature of my being, the way God created me to be.  And yet I know in order to most glorify Him in all things, it’s good to know what you are good at, not striving to be something you are not, so you can be used to the fullest.

I guess that’s what I’m after, searching for what I am good at, what I really enjoy, where my gifts actually lie.  I would be remiss if I didn’t share that while growing up I just wanted to be like everyone else.  Our history shapes us.  It doesn’t define us, but it shapes us into who we are.  Our weaknesses and strengths are either pronounced or repressed.  In my case, I’ve been striving to be what the world is telling me I should be, uncomfortable in the skin the Lord has clothed me in.  Anyone else feel this way?  I want to be type-A, organized, extroverted, great at math and science, detailed…I want to be everything I’m not cut out to be.   Sometimes being honest with ourselves is one of the hardest things to do.

This year, I’ve decided to uncover the oppressed parts of who I am, others like my husband already know what these parts are, he sees me every day.  He knows my strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else I know.  He fell in love with the real me, with who I am. I’m hoping that this year, I will do that too.  Fall in love with me, the real me, the me that is so bursting to come out and say hello.

In light of finding me, I’ve taken time to sit, pray, think, and test myself.  Yes, I’ve taken almost every test to help me better understand my strengths and weaknesses.  Here are some of the results (from mypersonality.info):

Myer’s Briggs:  INFJ


Highlights from INFJ:

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals.

· Artistic and creative

· They put energy into identifying the best system for getting things done

· INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them.

· INFJs hold back part of themselves

· INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves

· Natural leaders and future-oriented

· Dislike dealing with details unless they enhance or promote their vision

Spiritual Gifts:  Shepherding, Leadership, Faith, Wisdom

I’m hoping that as I grow more comfortable in my own skin, my confidence will grow and I will find joy in being me, the real me, the who I am at the core.

do you know yourself well?  what is your personality type?