butterscotch bark

Every month I look forward to all my food magazines that come in the mail, but there is one in my mind that always makes my heart skip a beat and that is Martha Stewart's Everyday Food. I have found that these recipes use ingredients we usually have in the pantry and take around 30 minutes, perfect for any weeknight!

We happen to love most things coconut and especially seven layer bars. They are oh, so delicious, and usually do not stand a chance staying around. Unfortunately most things if we don't eat them in a couple of days or so either get tossed in the freezer or right into the trash...but these did not!

This bark was delicious, especially with the addition of butterscotch chips. I wouldn't recommend making them without, because everything is better with a little more chip!

Butterscotch Bark                                                                                          (adapted from Martha Stewart Everyday Food)

• 1 cup chopped pecans
• 1 cup shredded, sweetened coconut
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 12 graham crackers
• 12 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 cup light-brown sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread pecans and coconut on baking sheet; bake until golden, 5 minutes. Cool; toss with chocolate chips.
2. Line a 10-by-15-inch rimmed baking sheet with foil. Break graham crackers in half; fit in pan in single layer.
3. In saucepan, whisk butter and sugar over medium heat until smooth; spread over crackers.
4. Bake until bubbly, 10 minutes. Sprinkle with nut topping; press gently. Cool; break into pieces.

a season of change

“better is the end of a thing than it's beginning” (ecc. 7:8)

“The faithfulness of God is why the perseverance of man (and little girls) is so important.  What you’re seeing now is middles, freeze frames, the crest of the curve and now it’s falling arc, the ball as it looks snapped in mid-air by your Polaroid. 

But “you have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful” (James 5:11)”….We haven’t seen the fallout of this yet, the gentle misting rain of grace.  Of a love and power that more abounds where sin and tragedy abound…so wait on the Lord, little one, wait.  Because of the promises.  Because “the proper time” He will lift you up (1 Peter 5:6).  Because His compassions are new every morning.  Because He is good to those whose hope is in Him (Lam. 3:22).  Wait on the Lord, child, and be still.   Because we haven’t seen all the fallout of this yet.”

                           Excerpt from In Due Time 

“Won’t let you go until you bless me” by Andree Seu

Change is ahead.  I’ve just got to hold tight to the hand that never lets go.  Today is a new day, for this IS the day the Lord has made.  This season, it’s full of change.  It’s full of heartache.  Sorrowful yet always rejoicing.  Make my heart that way.  You are so worth this…all of it.

On the infertility end, many of you know we have made the heart wrenching decision to stop treatment.  I don’t know when or if we will try it again.  I don’t know when or if the Lord will bless us with children of our own.  I don’t know what’s in store.  But I know my heart.  It’s time for a break.  Time to dig deep, fight sin, cast out idols.  It’s funny how something so good to hope for can become sin, so quickly, instantly.  A calling for women, it’s in us.  Most of us at least.  There is a desire, a God given desire, to be married and have children.  It’s God’s good plan.  And yet the waiting season, “is preparing for me an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison”…It’s just incredibly hard to lay down a desire so deep within me at the foot of the cross…but Lord, I trust you, I trust your plan for us, as hard as this is.  I will follow you…for your way is better than life.

{Reposted from  9/27/10}

zucchini parmesan loaf

When I was back visiting my mother, I spent hours paging through all of her old Everyday Food magazines...I mean it was really bad, they kept my attention for far longer than I would like to admit.  But considering she still has the first magazine ever, that was um...about 7 years ago, I figure it was time well spent.

But the best thing about all that time perusing is that I now have a list of over 100 recipes that I would love to make and looked delicious. One in particular that looked good was this zucchini parmesan quick bread. I know it sounds a little odd, but the result is a tangy, savory, and delicious quick bread that pairs perfectly with soup, stew, and anything in which dipping is allowed!

I didn't need to change anything in the recipe, but feel free to add and subtract as you see fit~

Zucchini Parmesan Loaf

Serves 8

• 1/3 cup olive oil, plus more for pan
• 2 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for pan
• 1/3 cup milk
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese (about 4 ounces)
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1/2 pound (about 1 medium) zucchini, coarsely grated

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Brush a 9-by-5-inch loaf pan (6-cup capacity) with oil; dust with flour, and tap out excess.
2. In a small bowl, whisk oil, milk, and eggs. In a large bowl, whisk flour, Parmesan, baking powder, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper; mix in zucchini, then egg mixture until just moistened (batter will be very thick, like biscuit dough).
3. Transfer batter to prepared pan; press in gently. Bake until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 60 to 70 minutes (tent with foil if loaf starts to brown too quickly). Cool 15 minutes in pan; turn out loaf onto a rack to cool completely.

(courtesy of Everyday Food)

french chocolate brownies

C'est Magnifique!

A few years ago I spent my summer in Toulouse...it was wonderful, just like these brownies. There is something intriguing about the French. My two new found friends that year, Marine and Clemance, adopted my friend Brittany and I as friend giving us tours and even taking us to their home.  We spent the afternoon making M&M cookies in their kitchen. It was an amazing experience and probably where my true love of food emerged.

There is something wonderful about sweeping through French markets, smelling the freshly made boule miche from the boulangerie, passing tarts upon tarts, perfectly executed, and watching the people delight in their food.

Upon return, my love for food grew, and though I never had a french brownie while I was there, I am sure they would not be disappointed with Dorie's version!  A few years ago I baked alongside a group of bloggers who were baking their way through Dorie Greenspan's cookbook, Baking from my Home to Yours.

Given my likes and dislikes, I only changed a couple of things in the recipe:
-I did not mix the eggs and sugar for 2 minutes, only about 45 seconds
-I dislike raisins, so dried cherries were substituted
-No flaming cherries in this kitchen, so they went in unscathed
-B/C more chocolate is essential, in went 1/2 C chocolate chips (semi and white)

End result...love at first taste...these are so good, moist, fudgy, and delicious!

French Chocolate Brownies

- makes 16 brownies -
Adapted from Baking From My Home to Yours.

Ingredients

1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
1/3 cup raisins, dark or golden
1 1/2 tablespoons water
1 1/2 tablespoons dark rum
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons; 6 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature and cut into 12 pieces
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1 cup sugar

Getting ready: Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 300°F. Line an 8-inch square baking pan with foil, butter the foil, place the pan on a baking sheet, and set aside.

Whisk together the flour, salt and cinnamon, if you're using it.

Put the raisins in a small saucepan with the water, bring to a boil over medium heat and cook until the water almost evaporates. Add the rum, let it warm for about 30 seconds, turn off the heat, stand back and ignite the rum. Allow the flames to die down, and set the raisins aside until needed.

Put the chocolate in a heatproof bowl and set the bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. Slowly and gently melt the chocolate, stirring occasionally. Remove the bowl from the saucepan and add the butter, stirring so that it melts. It's important that the chocolate and butter not get very hot. However, if the butter is not melting, you can put the bowl back over the still-hot water for a minute. If you've got a couple of little bits of unmelted butter, leave them—it's better to have a few bits than to overheat the whole. Set the chocolate aside for the moment.

Working with a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat the eggs and sugar until they are thick and pale, about 2 minutes. Lower the mixer speed and pour in the chocolate-butter, mixing only until it is incorporated—you'll have a thick, creamy batter. Add the dry ingredients and mix at low speed for about 30 seconds—the dry ingredients won't be completely incorporated and that's fine. Finish folding in the dry ingredients by hand with a rubber spatula, then fold in the raisins along with any liquid remaining in the pan.

Scrape the batter into the pan and bake 50 to 60 minutes, or until the top is dry and crackled and a knife inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a rack and allow the brownies to cool to warm or room temperature.

Carefully lift the brownies out of the pan, using the foil edges as handles, and transfer to a cutting board. With a long-bladed knife, cut the brownies into 16 squares, each roughly 2 inches on a side, taking care not to cut through the foil.

Serving: The brownies are good just warm or at room temperature; they're even fine cold. I like these with a little something on top or alongside—good go-alongs are whipped crème fraiche or whipped cream, ice cream or chocolate sauce or even all three!

Storing: Wrapped well, these can be kept at room temperature for up to 3 days or frozen for up to 2 months.

are you there god?

It’s me…Andrea.

I know you are.  You are here with me right now.  You hold me as the tears fall, you encourage me in your word, your promises speak new life into my sinful, wayward, hurting heart.  And yet, I have to ask.

You have proved over and over again that I can trust you.  I can, right?

That’s when I hear you.  You whisper in my ear…Andrea, I’m here with you, it’s going to be okay, this is right where you are supposed to be, I have your best in mind.  Though it may not feel that way, I have promised you that I am with you.  I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, You are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you,  When you are afraid, put your trust in me.  Come to me…remember who I am.  I am who I am.

You are good.
You are constant.
You are sovereign.
You are love.
You are faithful.
You are abba.
You are provider.
You are creator.
You are redeemer.
You are God alone.

Lord, this trial may not seem as difficult as what others face, it may seem silly and contrite to others, I can try to be stronger than I am…

But it’s the struggle in our life journey right now, it’s the fight for faith, it’s the daily reminder to trust in who you say you are…and it’s hard.

In the words of Marc Heinrich…

When the trial comes, And all hope seems lost,
I will find my strength
In the mighty cross
Only Him…Only Jesus…Only there is joy in sorrow found…

{reposted from  8/14/10}

linen pinboard

Linen Pinboard courtesy of Pottery Barn 

For a slight hiatus from vacation postings, don’t worry I have the rest of the trip coming soon, I had to post a project I completed yesterday. 

Inspired by many bloggers and Pottery Barn, I armed myself with my glue gun, linen fabric and a cheap corkboard from Ikea.  I was going to use our staple gun but I couldn’t find it and Alex wasn’t home.  Next time though, I will use the staple gun, I forgot how hot glue can be and my hands did not appreciate it:)

So back to the project…I have been craving a way for my jewelry to be more accessible and on display so I will actually wear it.  Yup, it’s normally hidden in a box on my nightstand but I wanted it in a place where I could see it.  Enter the closet.  Perfect spot.  You grab clothes there so why not grab jewelry too.

After pulling and adhering the fabric to the pinboard I was ecstatic to see that my hard work?!? resulted in the perfect jewelry holder:

 

From spendy to inexpensive, rounding out a whopping $10,

I’m in Love:)

enough

The all-sufficient one...El Shaddai...The Lord is enough

For Abraham in Genesis, the Lord was enough.  He was the "pourer forth," the one who pours himself out for his creation (noted from Lord I want to know You, Kay Arthur).  His Grace is sufficient, He is enough.  This is what the Lord has been teaching my heart these past few days.  No matter what comes our way, no matter the day and hour, He is all sufficient...enough.

When I am honest with myself, like I was yesterday, I know I am not acknowledging the Lord as enough.  There are things I want, things I don't understand, things that hurt.

As a child, I always wanted to be the mommy to my dolls, stuffed animals, to anything.  I'm a nanny.  I was a early childhood major in grad school.  It's obvious I love children.  Right now, the one thing I was ready for, wanting, thought might come a little easier, is not.  About a month ago, I was referred to an Infertility Specialist.  Disheartening, yes.  Encouraging, maybe.  A test of faith, absolutely.

Maybe we'll get pregnant, maybe not.  But at the end of the day, I hear my Savior asking, "Am I enough?"  Yes Lord, whether you open my womb or not You are ENOUGH!

As I stumble down this new road, new path for our lives, I'm grasping hold of the verse that always comforts my heart:

"You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off";

fear not for I am with you,

be not dismayed, for I am your God,

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  ( Isaiah 41:9b-10)

God's righteous right hand refers to Jesus...I want to be upheld by Jesus, the perfecter of my faith.  God hasn't promised to open my womb, to bless us with children, to make life easy, but he has promised that He will be with us every step of the way...rejoicing with us and suffering with us and at the end of the day, that is more than ENOUGH!

{reposted from 11/05/09}

god has a sense of humor

First things first, I got myself out of the house for a great walk/run this morning.  It was during this great endorphin high that I realized how irony and humor come in to play when it comes to the Lord.

During this season of not knowing whether my body will ever be able to bring forth life, the Lord has been good to me, even causing a chuckle here or there.  I've been focusing on the goodness of the Lord and how being with him is better than life, any life.  So on my walk, I was checking my google reader and guess what, yet another person was pregnant.  Whether it's people I know personally or in the blogosphere, this is the time for bringing forth life.

During this season, I have a few choices...I can be embittered by this, acknowledge it and forge ahead, or I can embrace it and be joyful for those who are expecting.  I'm in between the latter two, because if I'm honest being embittered just does not fit my personality.  There are things better than children...like chocolate for instance, or so I'm fighting to believe!

So back to google reader...after reading the post, I laughed out loud.  Good thing there wasn't anyone around, it was quite a chuckle I had with the Lord.  He's pretty funny!  Why was I laughing and thinking he has a sense of humor.  Because I believe that sometimes the Lord puts trials in our lives to produce in us godliness, endurance, and faith in his will, not ours.

  "we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces charachter, and characherter produces hope..." Romans 5:3-4

I had a little conversation with the Lord at that point here's a quick synopsis:

me:  Lord, you're pretty funny...seriously, another person, you have got to be kidding...(insert laughter)

lord:  kidding, i am not. 

me: i know, Lord.  you are better than life, better than a baby, better than anything.  it will be okay, even if you never bless us with children, because you are better than anything this life can offer.

lord:  know this..."In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world" John 16:33

me:  thanks for the overflowing of life...i can laugh now at the irony, because i'm growing in my understanding of who you are and why you put trials in our way...thank you for testing my faith.

{reposted from 11/18/09}

gona-what?!?

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, sho does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Phillipians 4:4-7

I'm thankful for friends who are helping me pull through.  I'm thankful for a tender and caring husband who is learning that just being there is enough.  I'm thankful for my mother and the words she speaks about God's goodness.  I'm thankful for doctors who are forging ahead, not dwelling on things that don't work and not wasting our money.  I'm thankful for all of my friends that are pregnant right now (which is a lot)...don't ever believe the lie that I am not happy for you...I am!  I'm thankful that my God is SOVEREIGN, GOOD, LOVING, and that His will is always PERFECT.

The reason I have been sharing our struggle with fertility is because of how blessed I have been by the wisdom, insight, and care from others.  It seems a little bit more normal then, not like the elephant in the room that no one is asking about.  Also I know people are interested...even if they do not admit it.  And finally, because when I hear, read, am invited in to share in others' struggles I am almost always blessed myself.  I could not go through this alone and if I did the pit would be beckoning me every step of the way.  You, friends, have pointed me to the  cross and for that I am so very thankful.

It's not an easy struggle...but the Lord gives life.  He alone creates children and I believe wholeheartedly in a God who incredibly Sovereign, even in things that do not seem to make sense.  Even if we are never able to have our own children.  Even if he takes Alex away. 

To give you a brief glimpse of where we are...clomid did not work.  Ovaries are still stubborn and unwilling to ovulate.  So we are moving on.  The greatest blessing this week was that we are not so far away from meeting our deductible so the next 4 cycles of treatment will be paid for 100%.  That is a huge blessing.  We're moving on to Gonadotraphins.  Here's to 2010:)  Cheers!

{reposted from  12/18/09}

round 2

PCOS

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is one of the most common female endocrine disorders affecting approximately 5%-10% of women of reproductive age (12-45years old) and is one of the leading causes of infertility.

The principal features are obesity, anovulation (resulting in irregular menstruation), acne, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS.

This is what we are dealing with.  If you read the description above you will notice that I don't really meet the qualifying markers.  I am not overweight by any means, do not have excessive hair, am not insulin resistant, nor do I have any abnormal hormonal issues.  Which puts me in the an even smaller percentage.  I am thin, have cystic ovaries, and do not menstruate on my own.  The usual protocol is to lose weight, eat low carb, go on metformin an insulin drug, and clomid.  Unfortunately I cannot lose weight and I am clomid resistant, meaning I did not respond at all.  So injections are the next step, which most of you already know.  Better than clomid and best of all last round, two little eggs released...which is a huge blessing of it's own:)

Round 2 starts Saturday...wish us luck:)  and Stop us! if we ever set foot to adopt a pet in another country!!

{reposted from 2/6/1012

decor on the dollar

My favorite place to find art?  Nope, not Target or Homegoods, not the Salvation Army or a thrift store.  My favorite places to find art are at Archivers (or other paper stores) or my own computer.  Surprised?

I’ve found paper to be incredibly cheap (under $1) and to create really fun art throughout our house. Some areas where we have paper as art?  Our bedroom and the hubby's bathroom.

















The paper in the frames I got at Archiver’s for under $1 a piece.  And yes, we each have a picture of the other on our nightstand, we’re dorks like that.  I mean who wouldn’t want to wake up like that:)



And this piece of paper, again was under a dollar.  But the real reason this was a winner, well because the hubby loves vintage art, especially art relating to golf, I mean how perfect is that!

Now for computer generated art.  If you have a word processing program and a color printer you are on your way to great wall art.  It’s as easy as that.  This is the print that I made for my bathroom.  I love the idea of Scripture art but I don’t love the traditional look.  So I made it in a more modern way on the computer and now it’s a great way to get my mind ready for the day as I get my body ready.  Perfect!

(Psalm 62:1-2)

One of my favorite home blogs is Young House Love.  Check out some of their great homemade art on the cheap:)

http://www.younghouselove.com/2010/08/reader-redesign-create-barrel/
http://www.younghouselove.com/2010/04/nursery-progress-adding-some-art/

Happy Decorating!

what to do now?

It didn't work.  Round 4 didn't work.

My head knows the reason why, but my heart, oh my heart hurts.  A lot.

My mouth keeps proclaiming "God is Good...God is Good, all the time" and inside I feel my spirit doubting.  My wayward heart is having difficulty understanding, and yet I just keep repeating truth all the same.

A dear friend told me a few weeks ago that this was going to be a fight of faith, a battle against Satan.  It was easier to fight the battle last time.  This time, O Lord help me, fight the fight of faith.  Help me to fight to see your goodness.  To really believe deep in my soul, that this is your will and that right now, this is best.

14 months ago, Alex and I started trying for a family.  7 months ago, infertility treatments began.  We were ahead of the game, or so I thought.  But now, there are only a few options left.  Continuing at what we are trying, while paying lots of money, or IVF.  I know God works miracles, life is a miracle.  But I don't like my options. I think this is really the root of my heartache.  Thousands of dollars later, we're beginning to ask ourselves all sorts of questions.

How much do we spend before we are being unwise with our money?

What is the Lord telling us?  Is this His will?

Do we even consider IVF...is it even an option for us?

What do I do?  Do I continue to stay home?  

If it isn't working at 29, how will it work at 32?

Do we try again or take some time off?  Change doctors?

I worry about my ability to make a decision.  There is a part of me that just wants to throw in the towel, give up.  I know that is not the right response because I've learned it's my coping mechanism.  I never thought when we started all of this that we would end up here.   Basically exhausting.  This is an emotional process and I just don't know how long I can bear the heartache.  I know, people try for lots longer than we have...but it's discouraging to know you may have exhausted all of your options right out of the gate.

But I know this does not surprise God.  He knew it all along...he planned it.  And I know He's right here with me, comforting me, holding my hand as we walk through this.  He creates life and that makes it all the harder.

{reposted from 4/5/10}

a little more girly…

And a little more manly.  I’m talking about our bathrooms.  For almost 4 years, the hubby and I have shared a bathroom despite the fact that we have 2 bathrooms!  I decided that this year we would try out having separate bathrooms and see how it worked.

The main reason for the change?  The bathroom we shared is connected to the hubby's office and other than the summer, when I’m up and out of the house before he starts work, having the shower going while trying to work just doesn’t cut it. I mean who wants to be on the phone and hear the toilet flush or shower going..Eww!

Since I’ve always wanted to incorporate pink into our color scheme, I transformed the other bathroom into the perfect girly space while changing a couple things in the existing bathroom to make it a little more manly.
So here they are, our “new” bathrooms!

Mine:    
                             
        

Cost Breakdown: 
-New Shower Curtain $10, Ikea Candle $4, Ikea Frames $15 Total: $29

The rest of the items we had and I grabbed them out of hiding for the bathroom.  We picked up the iconic “Keep Calm and Carry On” postcard at the Imperial War Museum in London last year, before they became the “IT” thing:)  Also the other picture is one I made thanks to a sheet of paper and our printer…more on that later.

Now for the manly space:

Updates:  A new picture, totaling $1 for the piece of paper.  Again I grabbed things out of hiding for this bathroom too and the color scheme is more masculine with greens, orange, and red. 

All it takes is a little imagination and basically, some paper:)